Mother's Day

Picture of Mary Lowe Howard taken in middle age.

Just one week after Mother's Day, it seems not too late to share as a tribute to our maternal grandmothers the life sketch of Mary Lowe. Written by Sarah Ann Howard Tuttle who was the daughter of Thomas and Mary Lowe Howard, we hear in her words the love of a daughter for a mother. In the facts we gain an appreciation for the sacrifices she made for God, family and faith. If you have watched PBS series such as Downton Abbey or Upstairs Downstairs you get some feeling of what her teenage and young adult years may have entailed as head cook for a wealthy, if not aristocratic, family in England.

A Life Sketch of Mary Dudly Lowe Howard

Mary Lowe Howard was the wife of Thomas Howard, and daughter of Richard and Sarah Dudly Lowe. She was born November 30, 1837 at Walbrook Staffordshire*, England and was the third in the family. She was the first one to join the church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints. Her mother died when she was six years old, and she lived with her grandmother Dudly for a few years until her father married again and at 14 years of age she went out to work and became a special cook with wealthy families and made very good money. There was no free schooling in those days and children soon went out to make their own living; however, mother learned to read and write very well.

She was a head cook for a wealthy family who was religiously inclined. They had the minister come and read to them very often, but mother never seemed satisfied. She heard of some Mormon meetings that were being held some six miles from her home and she walked there to investigate. Joseph Howard was the District President and invited her to stay to their night meeting. Apostle Penrose who spoke that night seemed to be inspired and said the very things she had been wanting to know. Joseph Howard, who later became her father-in-law, took her home and she could hardly wait for her next Sunday off to visit the meetings again.

As she became more interested one of the servants told the people she was working for that she was attending Mormon meetings. They thought a good deal of mother and had the minister talk to her. They said she was too good a girl to be going to such meetings. But she prayed earnestly that if the Mormons were right that nothing would stand in her way or prevent her from becoming one of their people. She provised the Lord that she would rather live on potatoes and salt and be with his people than to live on the riches of the land without the true gospel, and she was surely put to the test.

Mother met with the minister a number of times at the request of the people she lived with, but the more she talked with him the more discontented she became, until she refused to see the minister and her mistress told her she would never have another girl that she thought so much of, but she would not have the minister treated that way and she would have to leave. They gave her a good letter of recommendation and said that she was very honest, trustworthy, agreeable and a good cook, but that she would associate with the Mormons. She looked a long time for work but no one would hire her being a Mormon. She finally found some people that said they had a peculiar religion too and it didn't make any difference to them although she had to take lower wages and work much harder.

source: Inside the Victorian Home, Judith Flanders, 2003

Mother kept going to the meetings and Joseph Howard said his son Thomas was younger and could take her home as he was better able to walk that distance. They began keeping company until he cam to Utah, he was to come here and help earn money with his brother William to bring her and the rest of the family. They agreed that if neither one met anyone they liked better before they were united in Utah they would get married when she arrived. Mother had a number of chances for marriage with well thought of young men from wealthy families, but none of them seemed to appeal to her as Thomas Howard did.

Mother Joined the church in England about 1861 at Gravely Hill and was baptized by Joseph Howard and traveled to Utah with him and his family in 1864 with the William Hyde Company. She went through many trials but she never complained. 

Mother was a few wagons ahead of Joseph Howard when his wife became very ill. I have heard my mother say she went back of the wagon and looked through the canvas saying, "Mother, how are you tonight?" and she replies, "I'll never see my dear boys again." Early the next morning Grandfather, Joseph Howard, came for mother to help lay his wife, grandmother, away. They had no casket or boards, they just put clean underwear and a dress on and sewed her in a clean sheet and burried her in a grave which the children lined with goldenrod. Mother had to hurry to gather her few cooking utensils and get them in the wagon as they were all starting to move. She looked back and saw the smoke burning up from the grave. They built a fire on all the graves to keep the animals away. 

Grandmother died as many other saints - a MARTYR for the gospel and she will wear a martyr's crown. 

Mother was older than grandfather's daughter's and therefore, took the responsibility of the family until grandfather married again.

While they were traveling on their journey, they would mix up a little sour dough bread and let it hang under the the wagon and bake it in a camp kettle at night. Sometimes it would be burnt on the outside and dough in the middle. There was no time to cook as they journeyed each day. No wonder the poor saints were sick and died.

Notes: 

The above biography is transcribed exactly as Sarah wrote it and typed by her daughter, Florence Howard Tuttle Foy. In the title of this biography Sarah gives a middle name for Mary. Dudly, or Dudley as it is more properly spelled, however, while the maiden name of Mary's mother, does not appear to be part of Mary's legal name. It does show, though, how much the ancestral name of Dudley meant to her granddaughter, Sarah.

*Mary actually born in Bilston, Staffordshire, although her father was born in New Wallbrook, Staffordshire.

To view several pictures of Gravely Hill, Birmingham, click on the link and then scroll down.To see the Graveley Hill railroad station, click on the link.

The picture of the Victorian kitchen was originally found on The Victorian Kitchen.